Thursday, May 23, 2013

Stages of Writing a Paper You Want to Slap Through Songs

Ways of cooping with an annoying paper writing process: stage it through songs

Stage 1: Denial - so now we're on I said NO NO NO

Stage 2: Deciding on the topic - Where do i begin? 

Stage 3:  Dear person who borrowed Menon's book from the library, wrote on it - underlined, scribbled and left silly notes - all i wanna do is bang bang bang  

Stage 4: stuck on 500 words. Paper, why don't you love me? why why why? 
Beyonce, really really really? See what you are doing to me

Stage 5: 3 am in the morning marked with the birth of an argument 
"ta2 ta2 wel denyi 7arb, 3el2ani beyn sharq w gharb" 

Stage 6: Writing about the lebanese civil war and the depression accompanied by it, it's time for an Ani intervention  "why don't you just go ahead turn off the sun, because you'll never live long enough, to undo everything they've done to you"

Stage 7: Running out of time. This stage cannot be described by a song, it's a whole movie "woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown" 

Stage 8: Fairuz says it all. Ray7a jayi bel beit, taweshni khelkhali...

Stage 9: 2000 words and out of cigarettes, you want neurotic 
i'll show you neurotic 

Stage 10: failed trials to glue and elaborate on my argument 
As Om Kolthoum says: 7ayart albi ma3ak 

Stage 11: When Wendy Brown says it all in a title "the most we can hope for" 
you know it's time for some fame

Stage 12: Misery strikes hard ; you know it's time for Leo, nobody does it like Leo
Been to jstor to meet every paper and you came home without  anything

Stage 13: Due day and a morning of Inspiration - When you stop counting your words 
because you are too excited and you're actually starting to enjoy the writing process 

Stage 14: Editing and referencing - the torture 


Stage 15: Submission, time for paper separation anxiety 
quand es que vou voulez venir de prendre un verre chez nous

Stage 16: Realizing it's done - So good so good

Stage 17: you blog because you forgot how to sleep 


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hehe brilliant and true. I totally relate..specifically to the "where do I begin...