Monday, May 6, 2013

Things You Say That Will Reward You With a Punch in the Face

Disclaimer: This blog might include a lot of "violent" visual description, such as punch in the face and shoes up your throat; so if you are too sensitive please don't read it. But do know that i really really really believe in "world peace" tralala.
Pang Pang Pow

Dear orientazifts,
Here are tips for your upcoming visit to the "orient". Just for the sake of our nerves, and you "safety" try to avoid using these phrases while you are having a conversation with people. You might not get punched by everybody, but from time to time you might run across people that are sick and tired of your bullshit. Now don't get me wrong, i am just being nice and highly protective over you, therefore here's a collection of quotes you might want to consider avoiding. Otherwise some of them will reward you with a punch in the face. 

1- "I am really interested in the role of women in the egyptian revolution" 
2- "Women in the Arab Spring"
3- "Back when i was in Israel" 
4- I am doing a research about "the gays in the middle east" 
5- Yeah but FEMEN ......
6- "Oh this is so annoying, now we have to fly to jordan to get to israel, oh my gosh" - this one is an exception, it will reward you with a shoe up your throat. 
7- And  my personal favorite: I am majoring in middle eastern studies, taking arabic lessons. The 2 of them will look great on my state department application - darling you might as well add oriental dance, hummus and koshari they can totally spice up your CV. 
8- "Development in Africa is needed. The poor kids needs us. What do we do? leave them to die from famine? "
9- Yes i am against Israel and everything but we have to admit that Israel has a great record of human rights - double punch and you are paying for my l'exotanile. 
10- Come on, why are you "over-reacting" it was just a joke.  

here here, are u sad? now go find yourself another zoo. 

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